I Volunteered in Prisons
Yes, you read that right. I volunteered in prisons back in 2016. I was finishing up my bachelors degree and I became curious about the mindset of people who end up incarcerated. What causes someone to make choices that result in an often temporary, but sometimes permanent, stay in prison? How does someone knowingly commit egregious crimes against society? How can someone willfully hurt others or demonstrate careless disregard to get what they want and/or need?
There were so many questions I had and so many things I wanted to understand. There was a reason for it, too. Someone I loved made choices that resulted in their inceration. This is the primary reason I embarked on my first intentional journey to learn answers about humanity. I had to understand the “why”.
A Faith-Based Program
I connected with a faith-based agency that offered a re-entry program for incarcerated folks. The program offered educational opportunities, life coaching, faith services, and re-entry assistance. This program had existed for years inside the wire at these prisons. It was dedicated to the rehabilitation and rebuilding of men and women in an effort to create faithful, productive members of society with the goal of reducing recidivism.
I started performing administrative tasks in the office, helping build their Life Coach program. The program was informally designed to educate and enhance the life of youthful offenders (under age 25) by pairing them with a life coach within the prison to offer intangible tools for navigating life in the real world after their release. The life coaches were people who had been incarcerated for longer periods of time and worked hard to build themselves within the prison walls. They were individuals who completed their GED, college courses, learned to make financial investments, had strong faith in God, and consistently made choices to be decent human beings.
Eventually, I was accepted as a volunteer and approved to go onto the compound. The first time I walked through the gates was nothing short of intimidating. I had a chaperone walk me through the compound the first few times I volunteered, but after that, I was on my own. I want to mention here that there is an aura to a men’s prison I have never experienced anywhere else. It’s this very strong feeling of anger – and it permeates the air. The women’s prison carries an aura of desperation. I cannot speak to the exact cause, I only know it exists.
What I Learned
I spent a lot of time learning about the people inside prisons and discovered that prison is mostly populated with people who come from impoverished homes. Their lives are often mired in extraordinary circumstances. Single parent households, domestic violence, substance abuse, sexual abuse, food insecurity, lack of stable employment, lack of affordable housing, inability to access educational opportunities, disabilities, lack of access to mental health services… the list goes on and on. I remember an officer once told me that everyone’s story is the same, the circumstances are just different – and it’s usually a sad story.
I learned that humans will make choices out of self preservation. A mother steals diapers for her baby and gets caught shop lifting. Murder is committed because of a threat (whether real or perceived) upon the offender’s own life. An addict keeps using because if he quits, he will have to come to terms with the pain in his own existence.
I learned that humans can be greedy, on a very deep level. They absolutely will commit murder for money. They steal assets from others to amass their own personal fortune. When greed is the motivator, it’s hard for people to keep their humanity. The lust for money and wealth has the ability to override rational thinking and it causes people to make some of most awful choices of their life.
I learned that desperation is a motivating factor to commit crimes. Poverty has a way of creating a dark, dismal, stressful reality for people enduring it. When a person has limited resources, and they believe they deserve a better life (as they should), sometimes they will choose a dark, easy path to achieve said life. They don’t choose the well-lit and harder path of building their life. It’s too much for them, for whatever reason. I have seen drug dealers with the acumen of business leaders. It blows my mind that these people have extraordinary skillsets and, because of their life circumstances, chose to deal drugs. It was easy and it was familiar – that’s why they made that choice.
Re-entry Case Management
I also performed re-entry case management services for this organization, which was my most favorite part of volunteering with this agency. Initially, I would simply follow-up on releasees. Then I began to do pre-release resource identification plans based on assessments taken by existing volunteers. By the end of my time with this non-profit, I was personally doing the assessments, bringing in guest speakers to share information and encouragement, and recruiting volunteers who also shared my compassion for humanity. Information, thus leading to knowledge and self awareness, is a strong key to choosing better for ones self. Without it, we are destined to repeat history.
The Most Important Lesson
The most important lesson I learned was that life is truly about choices. We all get the opportunity to make good and bad choices. We all have the opportunity to say yes or no. We all get to decide for ourselves whether we will recreate a life that we already know or explore the potential of a new one. We all get to choose whether we want to be a product of our upbringing and circumstances or if we are going to work towards something different. It’s all about choices.
My Perspective Began to Change
Volunteering in prisons was one of the most captivating experiences of my life. It provided me with deep insight about myself and my life, up to that point. I realized I had been operating on autopilot. I began to understand that I did not have to choose to keep the living the life I had and that change was allowed and acceptable. In fact, change was what would give me the opportunity to experience a better existence.
And so my journey began…
Until next time,
Peace and love,
Jessica ❤️
